Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The History of Anger

It has been a difficult emotion, expressed indifferently and at unexpected moments in life.

It has affected my parents, me, my spouse, my children, my colleagues and somebodies whom I have directly or indirectly interacted in past.
But it was a call to the SBI call center which brought the anger expression into perspective.

I had ignored my SBI current account for few months. I was out of freelancing since a while and there was not much action happening there.
But I happen to see the yearly statement by chance while making a bill payment. I noticed that on 2 occasions the bank had fines me for around INR 650.
Instantly sent them email. Not satisfied called them up. A lady agent received the call and explained that “rules say”
If you do not maintain a minimum balance of INR 10000 per quarter you will be charged around INR 650 per quarter.
I explained that I was not aware of the rule.
She said, she cannot even take a complaint as it was crystal clear rule which I should have been aware of.
This is the moment in the call when logic fails and you take alternate path of force to enforce your point. At this juncture some people choose to
  1. raise their voice and make their point
  2. verbally abuse
  3. etc.,
I too had reached that point of inflection. On any other day I would have used the loudness of voice and sharpness of logic to cut through the point, even though here I was on wrong side.

Last few days I had been building a case of “shouting culture” at work place and how it is destructive for healthy growth of any organizations. Some people believe that a certain degree of fear and angst drives people to become more productive.
My developing theory against shouting culture was that
  1. it emotionally breaks an individual
  2. it kills their enthusiasm
  3. the drive to contribute to the welfare and development of idea/product/service fades
  4. the confidence goes out of window
  5. the nerves can touch breakdown point
  6. etc.,

Now coming back to the bank complaint call. I was on the verge of displaying vocal violence. At that precise moment this knowledge came from somewhere.
Its okay if I shout but its not ok if others shout on me.
I was stunned. Every one in past had complained about my mis-managed expression of anger. Now in that moment this realization moderated my tone and I continued with the complaint in most gentlemanly manner.
I requested to talk to her superior and explained to poor manager that
Customers can also be dumb and stupid. They can forget rules and regulations that banks impose. Banks are also equally responsible for not informing the ignorant customer about a rule miss, before, during and after the rule has been missed. And not make this as their primary business model.
For the first time in all complaints in my life I had felt that this fine of INR 1300 had opened my eyes to a different expression of anger. The anger in which you make your point in a manner which it is as human as can be under the circumstance and still don’t feel the pinch of losing out.

How has mis-managed anger helped/disrupted your life?
Do you think there is a link between meditation and knowledge surfacing at the right moment?

Saturday, April 09, 2016

Happy new year 2073

A first time to banasankari amma’s temple at bangalore.

The morning of April 8, 2017 was spent with special participants of art of living happiness programme at RBI Layout center.

The evening was to be in art of living satsang led by dearest Swami Suryapada ji (otherwise known as Chayyana ji, with love).

Started walking to the temple. The first few Bangalore auto wallahs ignored. One well dressed and young one of them stopped and demanded INR 80, almost double. Another, shabbily dressed and middle aged simply switched on the meter.

Entered temple. Not knew which direction to take. Where to keep the footwear? Some feet were bare and going in, searched for ones not bare and followed them. Suddenly, the footwear stand appeared on the left end of the temple.

Saw the banner declaring satsang in kannada along with photos of Sri Sri and Chayyanna. The stage was getting set.

Suddenly saw one of the AOL happiness programme participant there. She said she came to meet Amma. I was confused. Her mother. Kept talking to gather more. She said she comes here every/most fridays to meet Amma. They lit lamp made of emptied half cut lemon and offer it to Amma.

Only then it struck.
Amma is mother divine, banasankari devi. It felt like GOD is part of our family.
Saw one BIGGER queue and another smaller. Quckly got into the smaller one and was face to face with Amma, riding on her tiger, with Ganesha and Shiva linga on both sides.

Chayyanna was also offering his prayer with the temple priests while I was gazing at the mother divine.

As I came out of main temple, I saw a car park. I had dared to come in auto and here I was meeting a car park inside a temple premise. A rare but pleasing sight. I kept walking to left and was led into the stage of satsang, sat in front, facing the satsangies and beside the loudspeaker.

Chayyana came in, sat in middle of stage. Another set of veena players mesmerised by their art and were honored before we got into satsang, which was heavenly.

Chayyana satsang transports you into another world. A world where music and the lyrics carries your weight.
Release you of your burden.
Make you light.
Make you electric.
Sooth your nerves.
bliss happens, effortlessly.

Chayyana translates some of the bhajans/keertans. One such story is here.
When the bhakta/devotee is lying and singing in praise of the lord, the divine sits beside him and listens.
When the devotee is sitting, the divine stands up, dances and listens.
When the devotee stands up, the divine simply merges with them.

Another poem, translated meant.
O Mother, let the jasmine flower fall from you (a sign that mother divine has listened and will fulfill my desires.)
What are my desires?
  1. let the young ones find suitable matches for marriage.
  2. let there be children in the home.
  3. let the home echo the sounds of anklets coming from little feets of my daughter.
  4. let anyone who comes, always find food and nourishment in my home.

Saturday, April 02, 2016

How to explore the space as team?

Most times you want to lead. It creates a pressure on you to think, direct and move in certain direction. It is difficult not to lead.
Then facilitator instructs you, Now try not to lead.
Allow not to be lead.
Some moments of awkwardness happen. The impulse to lead dilutes. The effort to direct dissolves. The wait becomes bearable. And then you allow to be lead.
Then the facilitator instructs you.
There comes a time when you are not leading nor being led and simply the movement happens. The rules of movement still hold but the movement is unrestricted.
Then you simply flow in the space.
Together as team you explore the space.
Share. Learn. Move. Unafraid. Unjudged.
Like you river your path happens. The jungle of risks, smoothens. The stones of challenges weather.

The above thoughts were born out of a team workshop conducted by Preeti Sunderajan, CEO of GAIT. Reach out to her if you need to smoothen out the rough edges from your teams wings and allow them to soar.

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