Friday, March 26, 2010

Your position is not your role

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We get stuck in positions.

I am father and therefore I have to be strict, always discipling and If I fumble then my child will learn from it. I have to be very careful in my interactions with my child.
I am manager and therefore I have to maintain a distance from my subordinates so that they will learn to respect and obey me. I have to be strict and disciplined in my approach otherwise I will not meet project deadlines.

There is an element of fear. You do not want to be a bad father. You do not want to be bad manager. So you behave in certain way. The way that you have seen and been told. You dwell in a fixed belief system.

The only loss is flexibility in your responses. You simply lose your creativity. Not a big loss compared to the grumpy and grudgy father/manager/spouse that you have become.

Where is the fun?

Fun is born out of creativity. Every moment you create a role.
Every moment you play that role.

Your role is not scripted by luck, God, society, peers, company culture. You do not break the walls of morality. You are still confined. But you make a choice of response.

Surprise yourself by hugging the bad boss/relative/spouse/kid today. You cannot surprise them. You can only complain or judge them. Dont worry if they are not surprised.

There is more fun in breaking fixed patterns. If you are lucky you may become less serious with your role. People may be willing to share more with you. Your kid could confide in you rather than his peers. Your subordinate could call you to his child's birthday.

Why dont you try it and see? Life is an experiement. If it works ,fine, move on to next experiment. If it does not , fine, move on to next experiment. Do not return to old belief systems. They have been lived and beaten to death by many. Why should you kick around in dead beat?
Create a new role, a new rhythm, a new way to enact the role. Do not play to the script. Situations are new, responses should be newer.
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