The definition of success is very elusive. It means different things in different phases of life to different people.
When I was in school and college it was to pass somehow.
When I was in 12th it was to get into engineering somehow.
When I was in job it was to make more money anyhow.
When you were in marriage it was to demand happiness and feel proud in pronouncing to yourself that every act of a frustrating job was for the sake of family and their well being.
I was focusing on doing.
I was focusing on achievement.
So whenever I reflected back in life I always felt less. I could have been an IITian, I could not crack CAT. I could not join an organization during their early stock offer days. I could not go to US and earn in dollars.
I simply missed doing too many things.
Now I feel lack of achievement.
Now I feel lack of doing.
Did I miss out on something while I was undergoing all this doing?
Why was I nervous all this while?
Why did one achievement led to other? Why did so many job switches happen? Why did I move between so many places?
Why was their so much dissatisfaction?
Doing can only procure objects of desire and improve your external well being.
You will have decent clothes, enough for the family, a house on EMI, a car to move around. Sometimes friends.
You will still be uneasy. You will still be in fear. You will still be in pain. Can you feel the negative energy that these words carry? Can you live with it for 24 hours of your life? Can you sustain a wrenched chest and pit in stomach for every breath you take? Doing will only lead to lower self-esteem and lesser respect of others.
Why is pain the product of so much hard work and achievement? Did you do proper gap analysis?
How can you come out of this self-inflicted pain and emotional damage and abuse?
What is the purpose of your life? Who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you here?
You will know all, when you know your self?
How will you know yourself? How will you define it? How will you set its parameters to evaluate yourself? Is it related to success or is it beyond that?
The journey begins with a thought. Thought is power. Thought is enabler. Thought gives you direction. Thought gives you hope and courage. Thought feeds on thought. Have you noticed the chain of thoughts from first word of this article? It leads you from one state of mind to other. Now notice the next series of thought with care and attention.
I am energy. My purpose is to create positive energy. I never get destroyed nor I ever was born.
In every interaction with another form of energy I should observe what I am giving. What I give now will comeback to me either now or at another moment in future. Its a cycle.
I am bound by a physical body with form and senses. This temple is my home and I need to take care and maintain its state of well being. It is given multiple roles during its lifecycle and I help it to perform its karmas well.
I am human being not human doing.
My natural state is of peace,love and happiness. I am complete.
Now lets move to conflict. I am peace but my expression is anger. I am complete but my feeling is of lack. I am love but I cannot see it anywhere and afraid that if I lose this/that I will be deprived of love. I am happiness but I feel sad and agonized.
Why the gap? Is it because I compare and compete in the physical world, He has, I dont, He is and I am not? Does success means acquiring a physical asset and failure is not being able to do so? Is power exercised with shouting and violence?
How will you fill the gap? Create thoughts that are in sync with your natural state of being while you perform the roles of your physical avatars.
It is not a mission to and in jungle. It is while you are whereever you are.
How has your journey been so far? Do you want to turn to stars and let the destiney happen OR do you want to create your destiny starting this very moment?
What is your thought now?